Good Morning World!

It's another bead-related post from yours truly!!! YAY!!! I didn't have anything beady to say yesterday, so I didn't post. I had plenty of OTHER stuff to talk about, but it would bore any beady people to tears, so I skipped my blogging yesterday (but I did THINK about posting something... so I was thinking about you at least!!)

Ok... here's the beady news of the day. I'm going to the glass store tonight! YAY!!! Now that I'm going to try to make beads again, I had to analyze my glass-stock to see what colors I might be lacking in. I have plenty of glass, but there are colors that I tend to use a LOT of, like pale pink and lime green, so I need to go fill in those gaps. No huge shopping trip (because there aren't funds for that), but I need some little basics like bead-release and a few mandrels.

I use the skinniest mandrels when making beads and I tend to bend them up pretty easily with my big beads. When I went to the basement to get supplies together, I couldn't find a lot of usable ones, so I've got to go buy some. I can buy welding-rod and cut it down to size, but I'm on an "immediate" thing and need to just get some that are ready-to-go right now.

I'm planning on making beads on Saturday at the bead store again. I've signed up for torch time and will be there bright and early with my gear ready to make some girly stuff! Hopefully I'll be able to continue the no-shaking trend and have a good day of beadmaking. I haven't been by to pick up the beads I made last week, but according to Gerry (owner of beads by Design) they turned out really nice. YAY!!!

ok... gotta run and do some REAL work.


Coffee Today - Venti 3 pump Cinnamon Dolce Latte - NO WHIP! (but that was accident - guess it was the universe telling me NO MORE WHIPPED CREAM!)

Music today - My playlist called "if I was a radio station" which is WAY too long to list here because it's something like 32 hours worth of music!

So, it looks like I'm a blogger again, huh? I'm not sure why I'm compelled to spill my guts to the internet world, but I think I just need to write every once in a while and this is a good format to do it.

Nothing real beady to say today. I haven't cleaned out my studio from seed-bead mania (more on that in a second), so there were no beads made this weekend.

Seed bead mania - While I was stockpiling beads for my mermaid kits in 2005, I realized that I had almost as many, if not way more seed bead colors than most bead stores. That led to my selling packaged seed beads by the gram on my web-site in addition to the kits I was selling. This was a big venture and I invested more money in it than I probably should have (though I made the money back).

It was VERY time consuming, however and when I took a break from beadmaking, I tried to keep up the seed bead end of things for a little while, but my heart wasn't in it, nor did I have the time, so I closed that portion of my store as well.

The point of this is that when I had stopped making beads a couple of years ago and continued to do the seed bead merchandising, the seed beads took over my studio. So, right now in my studio are BOXES of seed beads and they are all over the place, including in my glass area. In order to make beads again, I have to clear out those seed-beads and get organized. I HATE getting organized, as anyone who knows me well can attest to.

In the past I'd barter with people to come organize for me.... trading classes or beads for cleaning/organizing. Right now I don't have the means to do that since I'm not teaching and I don't have any beads to trade (other than seed beads which I have TONS of), so I'm going to have to get motivated and clean my own studio!!! UGH!!!!

At least I have motivation now... I know I can make beads again. I spent 2 years not knowing if I could or not. I didn't talk about this in my earlier posts, but I had something going 2 years ago that made my hands tremble and shake to the point that I couldn't make even the simplest of beads. It was SO frustrating because they couldn't trace the cause of it. It eventually got a bit better, but at the same time other life events took the forefront, I took a full-time "real job" and beadmaking just became something that I "used" to do.

In the back of my mind I wondered if I could return to beadmaking, if my shaking had subsided enough to try, but I was afraid. I really really didn't want to sit down at the torch and find out that I had lost the ability forever. I had people say "oh, you could make organic beads, things that don't require as much control," but I didn't want to. I wanted to make what I wanted to make... girly, detailed beads. And if I couldn't do that, it was going to be a big disappointment. And I'd had too much disappointment last year. I didn't need something bringing me down, reminding me of my weaknesses when I was fighting so hard to be strong and independant.

So I didn't even try. I hate to say it, because I'd never want my kids to have that attitude, but I didn't want to try something that I wasn't going to be totally successful at. People said "do it because you love it, not because you're perfect at it," but that wasn't working... I WANTED to be perfect or not to do it at all. Thinking of not being able to make beads was depressing, so I didn't think about it at all.

A month or so ago I decided that it was time to try. To at least see if it was a possibility. I'd spent more than 10 years of my life as a beadmaker and I didn't like the idea of just disappearing off the map because of something that wasn't my choice. But I was really afraid of failure. My hands still shake, (not nearly as much though) and I didn't know if I'd be successful or not. I had no idea if I'd be able to make a dot bead, let alone a bead with a lot of embellishment like most of my beads were. I knew I'd have to clean my studio before I tried, so I kept procrastinating.

I finally decided that I'd have to go about it different route. I'd rent studio time through the Southern Flames (local glass bead group) and since I was reserving space and paying for it, it would make me go, the same way that having a trainer at the gym makes me show up. It gives some sort of accountability, no procrastination allowed.

I called and reserved a space and found out that there wasn't torch-time that weekend, but Beads by Design, the beadstore that hosts the torch-time, generously let me use their space for the day and let me try making beads again. YAY!!!!

I tried little beads first... just dots... and I could do it with no problem!!! My dots were as straight as they ever were and even though I was shaking a little, it wasn't really an issue. I moved on and decided to go for it and make a fairy. I got my stringer colors mixed and just went for it! YAY! It worked... no problems!! So then I tried a mermaid... and again, no problems! I was on auto-pilot and was able to do all the same things I used to do.

I didn't try anything huge like one of the mermaid torsos for Splish Splash. Those took SO much time and energy and control, I didn't want to risk it when I'd had such a good day. I can't even begin to tell you (whoever you are) what a big deal it was that I could make beads again! It changed my outlook on life SO much. Not that I was moping around... I definitely haven't had a moping year. BUT I hadn't felt like an artist and this let me see that there was that possibility still out there.

SO, this is what brought me back to my blog. The hopes that I'll be beadmaking again. The accountability of saying it "out loud" with the internet universe listening. I updated my website so that there might be people that looked at this blog and said "so where are the beads??!!" at some point. I'm hoping that saying I'm GOING to make beads will make me clean up my studio and get busy!

I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, I'll just check in and talk about whatever floats my boat and keep everyone informed what coffee I'm drinking and music I'm listening to!

Stay tuned....

Beads Made - Zero
Coffee Today - Venti 3 pump Cinnamon Dolce Latte with Whip (which I really need to give up!)
Music - NOTHING! aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I forgot my ipod, so it's way too quiet!

WOW! 2 days in a row??!!!

Maybe I AM blogging again. I've been working on formatting the blog today, so I'm on my way towards it anyways! YAY!!!

A lot of my recent bead-related energy has been directly related to e-mails that I've received from customers/students who were either looking for beads or patterns that they weren't finding on my website OR were asking when I'd be back OR just checking on me. I've put these e-mails into a file on my computer called "fan mail" (which sounds vain and probably is) and when I'm having a down day, I look at those to remind myself that I have (and still can) make things that bring happiness to people... even if just in a little way.

And this brings us to James Taylor...

Mr. Taylor has a song called "That's Why I'm Here" that talks about his doing the same thing (singing Fire and Rain) again and again and again, year after year for people who come to his concerts and "That's Why I'm Here" is his response to this. I totally get it. I'm not an international super-star like James, but at times I felt like I was singing the same song "again and again and again" making my cute-sy girly things, but they DO make people happy (and me too), so maybe "That's Why I'm Here" too.

I think it's "time to make the donuts" again. (I used to refer to this old Dunkin Donuts commercial all the time on days that I didn't really feel like making beads). It might not start because it's something I completely WANT to do right now, but it's something I NEED to do on several levels. I need that positive affirmation that I make something that makes people happy, I need the camaraderie that exists between beaders, I need the ego boost that selling things brings, and there are other positive benefits that come out of it too.

Are you ready for a big teaser???? A certain bracelet which was retired might be making a return... just because it would be an easy way for me to make a "come back." Something I'm used to making and might not have such a challenge conquering. (I guess I'll have to talk more about why I'd have to "conquer" ANYTHING later... but not today.) SO, that might be news to some of you... the return of ___ over ___. But don't tell! It's not a sure thing yet. Just gossip.

The big question now is WHEN can I make beads?? My life is already SO full (as my battered Franklin Planner can attest to) right now. I'm just going to have to find some time to add this element back into my life. I'll keep you posted (excuse the bad pun!) as to how the juggling is going.


Beads Made Today = ZERO
Coffee Consumed Today - Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte (3 pumps with whip)
Music - Sylvie's Long Mellow List (see newly added playlists on the right hand column)

Could it be? Am I ready to blog again? Am I ready to make beads again is the BIGGER question. The title says “the blah blah blah-og of a Beadmaker.” I think that would necessitate my actually BEING a beadmaker to have this blog. Since this was my studio journal, my way to vent about my creative process and keep people up to date on what I was doing in the studio, I abandoned it when I stopped making beads. I wasn’t sure if I’d return to beadmaking, but I didn’t take down the blog. I still get e-mails from people who, who knows how, have found my blog and read the entire thing and want to know “what happened next??!!” (as if my life is so exciting that people would be on the edge of their seats waiting for the next installment.)

I had one friend who told me he read my blog because it was like passing by a car-wreck… he really didn’t want to look, but couldn’t help himself. Thanks a bunch!!!

I have another friend who seems to think that I’m an I Love Lucy episode and that my day to day life would be a great sit-com. I don’t know that I see myself as Lucy, but sometimes I do think I’m sort of like Grace (from Will and Grace) who had some Lucy-esque tendencies, but was a modern girl (and artistic). Maybe people just read for the comedy of errors that I often am. Who knows why, but my silly ramblings seemed to have a following (and apparently, you, if you're reading this had some sort of inclination to read).

So ANYWAYS… here I am again, pondering the idea of blogging and beadmaking.

Am I ready to divulge my every thought to the universe? Hardly. BUT I am sort of ready to talk about my creative process again. I know there were people who really enjoyed reading my day to day ramblings about whatever was going on with me, sometimes bead-related, sometimes just to get new music or coffee ideas.

Without publishing a novel of my past 2 years, let’s just say that my "pseudo-real life" took some REAL LIFE turns and became the forefront for a while. I didn’t really make a choice not to make beads… life made it for me. But, now for various reasons (some of which I might discuss… some of which I won’t), I find myself being pulled back towards beadmaking (and blogging) again.

Since last we spoke, I became a single mom and am now working a full-time REAL job for my family’s business and if that's not enough, I'm in the process of going back to school to get my master's degree. These circumstances will make it very different for me schedule-wise to make beads than it was in the past and I’m not really sure if I can juggle the life I have and want to have, so that will be one of those things to discuss.

If you are reading this and think “cool! I’m going to get to hear all about Sylvie’s new single social life…or the trials and tribulations of being a single mom.” Think again. Though there might be occasional glimpses into real life (including my addiction to starbucks), I’m going to try to keep my blog focused on the creative me. Real life does color the creative process, so I’m not going to pretend that I won’t talk about other stuff from time to time, but I’ll really have to censor myself since this is potentially such a public forum.

There will be times, like there were in the past, when I say something in my blog that makes no sense to anyone but me (or those who know me really well). It will be just to “get it out” and anyone reading this wanting an explanation for my nonsensical sayings will just have to live with that bit curiosity from time to time.

AND if you are reading this and feel a need to correct my grammar… don’t. (and that means you mom!) Even if it drives you completely crazy…don’t do it!!! I never claimed to be grammatically correct and I like over punctuating AND I make up my own words AND I like run-on sentences and fragments… so there! If you leave me comments concerning my writing style, they will be deleted and I will make mean faces at you through the computer (so don’t even think about it!!!)

Ok… so let’s get down to it… Time to make beads again? Time to blog again??? Hopefully. Like I said in February… Stay tuned!


And because I know you're dying to know...today I'm....

Drinking - Chick-fil-A sweet tea w/ 3 lemons
Listening to - My ipod playlist called "Long Mellow List" (I'll add a link to my playlists later) and it's currently playing a James Taylor song.

Testing Testing... 1 2 3.....

Happy Super Wednesday!!!!

(I'm feeling sorry for the other days this week that weren't SUPER like Sunday and Tuesday)

Is it time to return to blogging?

Maybe.

Stay tuned...

Testing Testing... 1 2 3.....

Happy Super Wednesday!!!!

(I'm feeling sorry for the other days this week that weren't SUPER like Sunday and Tuesday)

Is it time to return to blogging?

Maybe.

Stay tuned...

Why is it that when you're ultra ultra busy....you come up with your most creative ideas...ideas you don't have time to develop. Then when you do have the time, you're all bogged down in not being busy and you don't feel creative! Is that irony? Not sure. Wouldn't want to be Alannis Morrisette or anything singing songs about things that are supposed to be ironic when most of them are things that just were bad coincidences. Guess that woulnd't be such a good song...

"isn't it a bad coincidence...don't you think....like rain on your wedding day." That's just not irony, even I know that!

But is the creativity thing? Does it matter if it is or is not? No.

And on a completely different note, I want to know what has happened to Jay who won project runway. I saw a special on him last night, but like life, it didn't really have an ending and i'd like to think he's off somewhere being successful, but the show was all about the struggles of launching his own line, etc. I am rooting for him wherever he is.

I was going to say no coffee today, but then I remembered I DID have Starbucks early a.m....Cinnamon Dolce Latte mmmmmm (but apparently a bit forgettable!)

I guess I'm checking in weekly now rather than daily. Guess it's better than not checking in at all.

I wonder why I am still posting my blog since I'm not really doing posting of pictures very often, if at all, of what i'm making in the studio lately.

What I've been making is mermaid torsos...lots of them. I guess they aren't really a "mermaid torso" until they have fins...they could be just girl torsos too I guess. But I'm making them for the mermaid project and have been trying to get 3 or more made per day. These take such intense concentration that I can't do many more than that. I did do 5 the other day, but by number 5, my hands were shaking I was so tired. It's a little crazy seeing that I can make a whole bunch of regular mermaids per day and they're not all that small. Just one of those hmmmmmm things.

In a quick update for anyone reading this who was worried about my work schedule. My long days are not ALL in the studio. The hours I was talking about include the computer grunt work that I do in the evenings. I am just saying that there are few hours in the day that I'm not doing something that has to do with my business...and that's sad. I've tried, but I get antsy knowing there is stuff that really needs to be done.

Not sure how I am going to be an "empire" of girly-stuff-ness if I have these tendencies. And that's what I want to be. The future Mary Englebreit or something like that with designs based on my glasswork and drawings which have that same feeling. I really loved doing the work I did this fall with the greeting cards. I just don't have time to do everything myself and I don't really know about marketing of such things. For now, my dream is still a dream without a lot behind it.

Ok, I'm off to do work in the office of my father (which is my Wednesday job)...

Starbucks today - Cinnamon Dolce Latte - having it until they discontinue it.
Music - classic rock on the new atlanta station...the river 97.1 (said in my best rock n' roll announcer voice)

Hello world, it's Wednesday.

I have to say after reviewing my earlier happy dance posts that I am TIRED...all that dancing wears a girl out!

No seriously, I'm worn out. Good sales breed tired beadmaker/beadseller/bead enterprise CEO/Bead inventory Foreperson/Bead Website Design Diva and all the other hats I wear. If it wasn't for Marie, I would have collapsed by now.

I am so happy to have a thriving business, but SO SO tired because I've been working constantly since the beginning of January. A couple of nights ago I sat in front of the TV and did absolutely nothing and it felt weird. I'm so used to multi-tasking and almost always working on something that it just felt weird. I've been trying to knit or something else just to keep myself from working 17 hour days, but it's tough.

That sounds horrible, and I truly love what I do. I'm just tired, that's all.

AND my website is pittifully out of date. Must get help with that too I think. I'm going to call someone who might be able to help...just had brain lightbulb thing go off.

starbucks - Venti 3 pump Cinnamon Dulce Latte which is delicious and when they discontinue it (and I know they will since it was a Valentines thing)I'm just going to die a coffe-less death. So until then...Carpe Coffee :)

My last posting sounded pretty ecstatic. It was. The good and bad of that are good...lots of sales, bad lots of tired. So lots of ups and downs since that post. Mostly up, but I'm tired!

I was listening to James Taylor today, though and heard the song "That's why I'm here" and it struck home...mermaids mermaids mermaids. That's why I'm here I think...to make people smile and such with what I do. A nice aha moment for the day.

No big crowds or big bucks like JT, but just an overall happiness with the approval I got from this project.

:)ing

coffee - cinnamon dolce latte which is totally delicious
music - James Taylor

WHOOOPEEEE!

They like me they really like me!!!

(splish splash mermaid is a big success and I'm a happy camper!)

Much more exciting than the Gap selling talls, though that is pretty darn exciting!

off to work,

coffee - no, stomach is sick, so having a coke (and a smile)
music - my playlist on ipod called "if I were a radio station" has TONS of songs with no rhyme or reason that I like. You might hear aerosmith and then carly simon and then beck...you just never know what's going to pop up. very fun

I hate saying "happy dance" again, but it is!

The Gap now sells Talls online!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is huge, (no pun intended) I can buy a t-shirt that's long enough to tuck in!!!!! I love their jeans and their clothes, but had only been able to buy their jeans since they came in long and x-long lengths. Now I can buy shirts and jackets too.

Can you say....BIRTHDAY IDEA?!!!! Yes you can!

Someone tell my husband that I want a jacket! There's a really cute one that comes in black or white and a cute jeans jacket too! Oh my! So many good choices that will actually fit! woo hoo!!!!!

As for beads, which this is supposed to be about. I spent a good part of yesterday beading samples. Will it ever end?! Will I ever be able to MAKE the darn kits?!!

The beads are all here, but I'm trying to get samples and pics done so that I can market the kits. UGH. It's tough being a one-man show!!! Although Marie, the goddess of Beads makes it much less of a one man show than it was before. Three cheers for Marie!!!!!

coffee and tea today.
no music. forgot my headphones. :(

I hate to start the new year with a negative post, but I'm going to. I'm having a really bad day. Today is the anniversary of our fire. All day today I was blue, but I thought it was January 4th. Not that it matters, but when I realized that today was the 5th, I just lost it.

It's not any one thing, just the upheaval and emotion of it all that gets to me. I know it was just stuff and that doesn't really bother me that much. It was the life that had happened in the house that's now gone that bothers me. It's the pets and the kids being sad about the pets and the sentimentality of it all. My kids were crying about it today and they didn't even know it was a day that had anything to do with the date of the fire. They were just in a different part of town than we usually are and said how much they missed where we used to live and maybe we could have a "just like the old days" day. Then my oldest got teary... I started losing it just about then.

So I'm boo hooing all day while I'm trying to be a productive citizen and a "together" Mom. Maybe some day this month I'll be an artist again. I'm just not feeling like it very much right now. :(

And just to say it "out loud" here, I know that my life is better off in this house where we are now and that the fire caused change for the good in a lot of ways. I'm just sort of bogged down in the sadness of it all sometimes.

I feel like I'm spinning my wheels a lot lately in my beadmaking/beading. It's frustrating and I had to vent here.

I have so many balls up in the air right now, that they are bound to all fall on my head and cause a concussion.

coffee - shouldn't have, but did - Mocha
Music - wish I had it, could use it today, but am doing office work sans ipod.

Not necessarily pertinent (sp?) here, but must say that my new favorite thing is My Name is Earl. It cracks me up over and over again. I've been Tivo-ing it so that I can watch it more than once. I have added many Joy-isms to my vocabulary, however I haven't found a way to use "boob glitter" in my every day venacular. LOL


--------
posting number 2 from today.

Am now sure that I am certifiable. Watch out e-bay seed bead sellers, I'm on my way! After visiting a store today who told me "make sure you check out all our seed beads (and they had MAYBE 30 colors...I could be exaggerating, but I think so), I went home and counted mine.....I AM a beadstore times a gazillion! I have 24 columns 10 or more tubs high each...over 250 I'm sure, colors/sizes of seed beads in my very own basement.

So, having thought of this for a while, I went to e-bay tonight and there are only a very few people selling seed beads! wow! I had already decided to add them to my storefront as just an aside for customers who regularly shop with me to pick up a little bit extra of the colors they liked from my kits. Having seen that there is a big void in seed bead land, however, I'm taking my tiny beadies to e-bay! Am in process of photographing the 250 some-odd varieties of japanese seed beads currently residing in my basement and will soon be a bonafide online beadstore! whoa! that's scary!

********happy dance*********

literally!

Dancing (well not this minute because I'm typing) to tunes on our new Bose speakers for ipod!!!!!!!

I had them on my wish list (to the left bottom of this page if you haven't been paying attention) and received them for Christmas from my sister in law. WOW! Was truly surprised, but am now dancing around the house to my groove tunes playlist.

Need to go to the studio and do some work, but want to stay and dance! :)

shake it like a polaroid picture....

off to work (or dance haven't decided which)

hey ya! hey ya!

Sunday of the party weekend. 2 of 3 down, 2 or 3 to go. Wardrobe is extensive for this type of social life! I can't imagine people that do this all year! I don't even have enough fabulous jewelry to wear for 3 parties, let alone 5! It's bad that some of the parties have the same people, so I can't repeat!!!

Have cool cool shoes and that's what matters.

Writing here quickly because I think it's important to keep up with my blog again.

coffee today - mais oui, mocha!
music - lots and lots of Christmas music!

way behind in blogging and in life.

Had a tough month so far, but seem to be returning to normal.

I'm really really hoping that January turns into a much more profitable work month. I've been working so hard designing and making samples that I haven't SOLD anything!! It's the tough part of what I do. If I was a bead maker, pure and simple again, I would just make beads and sell them...voila a business that lasts all the time without starts and stops.

I LOVE doing the seed bead weaving and project designing, though, so I am just going to have to adjust to the ups and downs OR give up that portion of what I do.

So, am done whining and will now return to work. I am so glad to be normal again and wanting to work. It was just a crazy crazy month and I'm glad it's back to some form of sanity.

Coffee today - mais oui! I had a starbucks venti 2%, 2 pump mocha. My drink of choice lately.

No music. Am listening to the Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd on CD (well ipod really), so no music played today.

Off to bead...

Today's post is a rant about Christmas songs...one in particular.

The song that the "we are the world people" did about Christmas...

Do they know it's Christmas-time at all.


Well, here's my view. NO! They don't! They never did. It is not really a holiday that I expect they celebrate, so they don't know it's Christmas and why are you singing those silly lyrics?!!

"There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time" - well, duh!

So, if it wasn't bad enough that people in the 80s (and I was one of them I guess) thought this song made sense...the Barenaked Ladies have done a remake of it!!! I thought they were witty and intelligent songwriters, but they could have done a better cover...or at least edited the stupid lyrics and put in good ones that made sense.

Every time I hear this song it makes me giggle....They don't know it's Christmas time at all.

(this has been a brief Christmas rant from me)

tea and coffee today - a big caffine day
music - Christmas (could you tell?!)
reading/listening to - The Mermaid Chair
making - small beads
buying- Christmas gifts and shoes for me

still here.

not quite so "funky" today. Coming out of the haze, but still not there. Need to work, but haven't really had the desire to do the work. I think if I had a regular job, it wouldn't be a choice, but this line of work is a bit too accomodating for "feeling in a blue-funkness" and kind of makes it too easy to stay there.

Have been exercising regularly, so that helps, but it also wears me out, so it's a mixed bag.

ok...enough complaining. Kids coming home soon.

watching: Making the Band 3 (I have to admit to this guilty habit here)
eating: too many chocolate chip cookies
drinking: un-sweet tea from Chik fil a
swimming - 1800 yards today!

Blue Funk
Rainy Dark Days
ICK

Getting my hair done tomorrow, so maybe will do something "bright" to help the mood. I don't think I'll do tobasco (sp?) red again...saw those pictures from a few years ago and don't think it was my best look. :)

off to bead (or play solitaire...can't decide)