Friday, November 14, 2008

FINALLY Friday!!!!

We made it! (well, close to, anyways!!)

As I was driving into work this morning, I was thinking (something I do in the car quite a lot). For me, driving down Lake Forest (a tree-lined back road) always puts me deep into thought and I have no idea why! Some of my best ideas/epiphany moments occur when I'm on that road. Weird, huh? I don't think I have the same sorts of ideas on other roads... wonder why.

SO... I'm driving down Lake Forest and I'm thinking about my online class and life. I'm reading a book that's making me a bit teary at its ending (which I'm sort of avoiding because I don't feel a happy ending coming on) and it's too long to go into, but it's sort of about the twists and turns of life. The story is about a man who time travels and his relationship with his wife. He knows his future, but can't change it and at this point of the book, he's sort of wallowing in a bit of self-pity, knowing what’s ahead. Not that I might not do the same thing... not sure.

Since I was thinking about the book and then thinking about my workshop, I sort of had some "hmmmm...." thoughts about beads and life.

The saying "when life hands you lemons make lemonade" seems kind of flippant to me when people are going through real hardships, but it is sort of an attitude that I encourage in my creativity workshops... making the most of the things you create that didn't quite turn out the way you'd planned... embracing the mistakes for the opportunities they can offer... doors they can open to explore new ideas.

How does this fit with life??? Well, I was thinking of the last 10 years of my life and all the things that have happened in my life that were NOT things that I wanted to happen... but how I dealt with those situations was up to me.

No one ASKS for a fire... no one wants a diagnosis or a failed relationship... but bad things happen in life and where you go from there is up to you. I had the choice of how to react in all these situations - sitting and feeling sorry for myself, blaming God, myself (I’m bad at that) or others for the places I'd ended up or just saying... ok, what do I do now???? Looking back, I’m really proud of how I’ve handled things. I’m DEFINITELY not perfect, so that’s not what I’m saying, but looking back over the last 10 years, given what I’ve been dealt… I can say that for the most part, I’ve weathered the storms and come out a stronger person because of them.

In beadmaking, it’s sometimes really hard for me to look at my work without that inner critic telling me everything that’s wrong about a piece. But for some reason, in my life, I don’t have that same pessimistic attitude. That’s not to say I’m not hard on myself (because I am) and that I don’t get sad… I’m real… I hurt and I don’t mend easily, BUT I try not to live in that place… even though, in some of these situations that would have been very easy to do.

SO, as I teach people to see the possibilities in every piece they create… I need to remember to use that same attitude myself more often. It’s easier to do in the context of the class where it’s SUPPOSED to be an exploration than it is in the studio when you have something you wanted to make and it doesn’t go the way you want. BUT I need to remember to apply my attitude towards life to the studio as well.

I’ll be in my studio this weekend and I plan to make some REAL beads this time… not just the assigned ones for my class, but some real artistic expressions of things that I’ve been mentally brewing for a while now. I have no idea if I’ll be successful or not, but it’s time to try… and not to beat myself up if they don’t go as planned… embrace the possibilities of the positive that can come from imperfection…. and the hope of something wonderful on the other side.

tiny blah blah blah...

coffee - Cinnamon Dolce Latte

music - more of the playlist "Chick Flick or Should Be" Right now it's playing John Waite "Missing You". For some reason, that song always reminds me of driving down the highway when I was in High School. I'm not sure why that's the memory that's triggered, but I'm glad that's what I associate with it. I know people who associate it with a person... I don't. OOH! And now it's playing Sade's "Maureen" which is a song I LOVE!

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