Why is it that when you're ultra ultra busy....you come up with your most creative ideas...ideas you don't have time to develop. Then when you do have the time, you're all bogged down in not being busy and you don't feel creative! Is that irony? Not sure. Wouldn't want to be Alannis Morrisette or anything singing songs about things that are supposed to be ironic when most of them are things that just were bad coincidences. Guess that woulnd't be such a good song...

"isn't it a bad coincidence...don't you think....like rain on your wedding day." That's just not irony, even I know that!

But is the creativity thing? Does it matter if it is or is not? No.

And on a completely different note, I want to know what has happened to Jay who won project runway. I saw a special on him last night, but like life, it didn't really have an ending and i'd like to think he's off somewhere being successful, but the show was all about the struggles of launching his own line, etc. I am rooting for him wherever he is.

I was going to say no coffee today, but then I remembered I DID have Starbucks early a.m....Cinnamon Dolce Latte mmmmmm (but apparently a bit forgettable!)

I guess I'm checking in weekly now rather than daily. Guess it's better than not checking in at all.

I wonder why I am still posting my blog since I'm not really doing posting of pictures very often, if at all, of what i'm making in the studio lately.

What I've been making is mermaid torsos...lots of them. I guess they aren't really a "mermaid torso" until they have fins...they could be just girl torsos too I guess. But I'm making them for the mermaid project and have been trying to get 3 or more made per day. These take such intense concentration that I can't do many more than that. I did do 5 the other day, but by number 5, my hands were shaking I was so tired. It's a little crazy seeing that I can make a whole bunch of regular mermaids per day and they're not all that small. Just one of those hmmmmmm things.

In a quick update for anyone reading this who was worried about my work schedule. My long days are not ALL in the studio. The hours I was talking about include the computer grunt work that I do in the evenings. I am just saying that there are few hours in the day that I'm not doing something that has to do with my business...and that's sad. I've tried, but I get antsy knowing there is stuff that really needs to be done.

Not sure how I am going to be an "empire" of girly-stuff-ness if I have these tendencies. And that's what I want to be. The future Mary Englebreit or something like that with designs based on my glasswork and drawings which have that same feeling. I really loved doing the work I did this fall with the greeting cards. I just don't have time to do everything myself and I don't really know about marketing of such things. For now, my dream is still a dream without a lot behind it.

Ok, I'm off to do work in the office of my father (which is my Wednesday job)...

Starbucks today - Cinnamon Dolce Latte - having it until they discontinue it.
Music - classic rock on the new atlanta station...the river 97.1 (said in my best rock n' roll announcer voice)

Hello world, it's Wednesday.

I have to say after reviewing my earlier happy dance posts that I am TIRED...all that dancing wears a girl out!

No seriously, I'm worn out. Good sales breed tired beadmaker/beadseller/bead enterprise CEO/Bead inventory Foreperson/Bead Website Design Diva and all the other hats I wear. If it wasn't for Marie, I would have collapsed by now.

I am so happy to have a thriving business, but SO SO tired because I've been working constantly since the beginning of January. A couple of nights ago I sat in front of the TV and did absolutely nothing and it felt weird. I'm so used to multi-tasking and almost always working on something that it just felt weird. I've been trying to knit or something else just to keep myself from working 17 hour days, but it's tough.

That sounds horrible, and I truly love what I do. I'm just tired, that's all.

AND my website is pittifully out of date. Must get help with that too I think. I'm going to call someone who might be able to help...just had brain lightbulb thing go off.

starbucks - Venti 3 pump Cinnamon Dulce Latte which is delicious and when they discontinue it (and I know they will since it was a Valentines thing)I'm just going to die a coffe-less death. So until then...Carpe Coffee :)

My last posting sounded pretty ecstatic. It was. The good and bad of that are good...lots of sales, bad lots of tired. So lots of ups and downs since that post. Mostly up, but I'm tired!

I was listening to James Taylor today, though and heard the song "That's why I'm here" and it struck home...mermaids mermaids mermaids. That's why I'm here I think...to make people smile and such with what I do. A nice aha moment for the day.

No big crowds or big bucks like JT, but just an overall happiness with the approval I got from this project.

:)ing

coffee - cinnamon dolce latte which is totally delicious
music - James Taylor

WHOOOPEEEE!

They like me they really like me!!!

(splish splash mermaid is a big success and I'm a happy camper!)

Much more exciting than the Gap selling talls, though that is pretty darn exciting!

off to work,

coffee - no, stomach is sick, so having a coke (and a smile)
music - my playlist on ipod called "if I were a radio station" has TONS of songs with no rhyme or reason that I like. You might hear aerosmith and then carly simon and then beck...you just never know what's going to pop up. very fun

I hate saying "happy dance" again, but it is!

The Gap now sells Talls online!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is huge, (no pun intended) I can buy a t-shirt that's long enough to tuck in!!!!! I love their jeans and their clothes, but had only been able to buy their jeans since they came in long and x-long lengths. Now I can buy shirts and jackets too.

Can you say....BIRTHDAY IDEA?!!!! Yes you can!

Someone tell my husband that I want a jacket! There's a really cute one that comes in black or white and a cute jeans jacket too! Oh my! So many good choices that will actually fit! woo hoo!!!!!

As for beads, which this is supposed to be about. I spent a good part of yesterday beading samples. Will it ever end?! Will I ever be able to MAKE the darn kits?!!

The beads are all here, but I'm trying to get samples and pics done so that I can market the kits. UGH. It's tough being a one-man show!!! Although Marie, the goddess of Beads makes it much less of a one man show than it was before. Three cheers for Marie!!!!!

coffee and tea today.
no music. forgot my headphones. :(

I hate to start the new year with a negative post, but I'm going to. I'm having a really bad day. Today is the anniversary of our fire. All day today I was blue, but I thought it was January 4th. Not that it matters, but when I realized that today was the 5th, I just lost it.

It's not any one thing, just the upheaval and emotion of it all that gets to me. I know it was just stuff and that doesn't really bother me that much. It was the life that had happened in the house that's now gone that bothers me. It's the pets and the kids being sad about the pets and the sentimentality of it all. My kids were crying about it today and they didn't even know it was a day that had anything to do with the date of the fire. They were just in a different part of town than we usually are and said how much they missed where we used to live and maybe we could have a "just like the old days" day. Then my oldest got teary... I started losing it just about then.

So I'm boo hooing all day while I'm trying to be a productive citizen and a "together" Mom. Maybe some day this month I'll be an artist again. I'm just not feeling like it very much right now. :(

And just to say it "out loud" here, I know that my life is better off in this house where we are now and that the fire caused change for the good in a lot of ways. I'm just sort of bogged down in the sadness of it all sometimes.