SO... this whole having a friend die thing really sucks.
(yes, this is another personal life blog posting... but it's also art oriented, not that I have to justify my blog posts)
ANYWAY... it sucks.
And not only do I have a hole in my life, I'm not getting anything done in the studio AT ALL and that is messing with me BIG TIME because then I'm sad AND disappointed that I haven't finished what I need to finish.
I know that this will pass and that a new kind of normal (which is what my friend Halee has dubbed life after loss) will happen, but as a friend told me last Thursday (paraphrased) "when you have a friend like this, who has been in your life for a long time... even when you don't talk every day, they're a constant... something you just KNOW is out there... sort of like the moon. You know it's there even if you don't notice it every day. You would notice if the sun was gone, but you don't always notice the moon.... but once you realized it was gone, you would miss it. Its absence would throw you off kilter and things just wouldn't be right."
And that is EXACTLY how I feel. I'm off kilter. I miss my friend and the fact that he was a constant. (wasn't that what the word was in LOST too??? I think it was and it was the character's "constant" that kept them from going off kilter when time-traveling)
So I will keep putting one foot in front of the other this week... figuratively as I try to get work done and literally, at the gym. Waiting to find a "new normal"
tiny blah blah blah...
skipped the coffee and had a cold unsweet iced tea after the gym
music - not really. I wasn't doing anything long enough to really listen to music.