Warning: Somewhat whiny post ahead....
I try really hard to have a good attitude as much as I can, but some days it's just tougher than others. I need some CPR for my artistic spirit and I'm not sure what the ticket is for that, so bear with me as I talk it out with myself and whine a little.
This has always been a place of honesty... where I write my thoughts about art and the work of making art and whatnot... but I haven't blogged truly honestly in a long long time. I felt a little too exposed to people who I didn't really wish to expose myself to.
But those people will read the blog or not read the blog... whatever their motive, it is what it is, so this is an honest blog posting about being down in the dumps artistically. Some times it's just harder than others to be inspired... and I'm feeling a little UNinspired and a lot defeated. I'm about to enter some heavy production-mode times getting ready for the Tucson Whole Bead show, so I don't really have time to be TOO creative, but I DO have some time this week and all I can think about is money for art NOT art itself.... and that bites and is not inspiring at all.
I was laughing on Facebook the other day about something my son said. I was totally stressing getting ready for a show... just the "am I ready? do I have everything I need? will I sell stuff?" kinds of things that I always go through pre-show. My son sensed the stress (like it was easy to miss?) and said.... "it's OK Mom... you've got this." and then he started singing "Ain't no Mountain High Enough" and I had no clue why he chose that moment to break out into a Supremes song, so I said "that's a love song... you know that, right? It has nothing to do with this situation." To which he responded, "no... it's about climbing mountains and going through hard stuff that makes you stronger!" To which I replied, "no. That's the Miley Cyrus song you're thinking of... The Climb." He argued that it DEFINITELY wasn't that song he was thinking of then started singing again. This time Pat Benetar's "Love is a Battlefield." I said to him, "why are you singing THAT song??? It has NOTHING to do with anything!!" and his response was... "well, art is a battlefield."
Art IS a battlefield.
It's a war of what sells vs. what makes you happy... a war of no money = low self-value, which really really sucks, but it's a reality that I battle DAILY to overcome. Sales are NOT what make me a better artist... they're just what pay the bills. So, I need to stop beating myself up over not having the sales I need to have right now and just keep busting my butt to find customers who want to buy what I'm making.
and while I'm singing Pat Benatar I will remind myself of this quote...
and I will keep on keeping on. Because baby there ain't no mountain high enough.... it's the climb! (or whatever.)
tiny blah blah blah...
coffee - yes and more please.
music - Christmas movies!