I realized ONCE AGAIN that I am not in control of this... I never have been and never will be and I need to just let.it.go. I have God-given talents and He has made opportunities for me to use them and I just have to trust and pray and follow His lead and I'll be ok. I might not be rich or successful or anything that someone might want to put high on the priority list, but I will be ok.
I did a bible study all last year and through the whole thing, every single week, I was reminded that I am NOT in control and I need to just get out of my own way and let God paint the painting of my life instead of me try to paint myself. (I was never a great painter and I tend to make a mess)
This might not make sense to anyone else, but it's what I needed to write about today and once again... you all can say it with me... IT'S MY BLOG AND I CAN WRITE ABOUT WHAT I WANT TO!!!
So today I'm writing that I'm ok. I might have heap of glass that is not anywhere near a cohesive body of work and a show in 2 1/2 weeks... I might have three projects that I'm planning to teach this fall that need direction tweaking and no kits made up for those projects... I might not have any idea how the bills are going to get paid (being honest) BUT I know deep down that this is what I am supposed to be doing and I'm continuing to take a step of faith... believing that He's got this beautiful painting of my life in His hands and I need to stop moving the paint around and just be.
God is a creator and I'm pretty sure he digs it when I get creative. He has given me some pretty bizarro ideas lately and I hesitated to post some of them....especially these funky crazy animals I've been making. I know now that they had a purpose that I wasn't aware of, so I'm glad I went with the flow. I have been more spontaneous, making the things that were coming into my head even if they had NO place in my body of work. I know now that I was supposed to... that I was supposed to post them and I'm going to continue to work from this place of peace and joy and I'm going to be OK.
(and so are you)
SO... because it's happy and fun, here is another wacko animal from my recent studio time. This one made me laugh. I'm calling him "Smug the Fat Cat."
I start back with my study group tomorrow after taking the summer off. I am SO ready to find out what He's got to say to me next because I have a feeling it's a doozy.
(thanks for sticking with me, readers. I know this was a more personal posting than usual.... but that's what the blog is for sometimes.... for me to think "out loud" and share things with whoever happens to google "ick stractors for pools" (inside joke for all my long-time readers)
Tiny blah blah blah...
music - MORE Sara Bareilles Pandora. I might need a new station tomorrow...they seem to get in a rut.
coffee - no, it was another iced tea day, BUT I have a free coffee coupon, so I'm indulging tomorrow!!!