Sylviebead Journal

Hello blog-reading friends... Happy Wednesday!

It's actually a pretty happy Wednesday. I'm not just saying that. It's happier than Tuesday was for sure!

I wasn't sure if I was going to talk about this or not, but I guess I am... my Tuesday SUCKED!

(so, if you're here because you're one of those people who loves looking at the "car-crash" that my blog can sometimes be... or if you're someone that really revels in other people's bad days... this one's for you.)

I found out yesterday that I wasn't accepted to teach at Bead and Button. There were over 2,000 applicants, so my odds were slim in the first place, but something about the rejection really stung. It hit me WAY harder than I thought it would (and I was expecting rejection... for the record). But the reality of it was more than I could handle yesterday. I don't remember EVER crying about something bead-related. (I'm a major water-works kind of girl... I cry at commercials, sit-coms, books, movies, music, church, friends WHATEVER... but I have never cried about anything art related.)

I've been snubbed at shows by other artists... had my authenticity questioned because a designer told everyone she had made my beads... I was called derivative by the editor of a major bead publication... laughed at in person by customers who said no one would ever buy my Head Over Heels kit because the price was too high...insulted by a customer who questioned the value of my glass work... all sorts of stuff that I could have cried about.... but I didn't.

But this...being turned down to teach at Bead and Button made me cry. big-time. boo-hoo sobs in my car on the way home from the office. Smeary mascara-big-time.

I can't figure out WHY it hit me so hard. I'd been rejected for BeadFest Santa Fe and didn't shed a tear. Sure, I was bummed, but it wasn't the same. For some reason, this hit me where no other art-related thing has.

A few friends said "don't take it personally" and I don't... but I do. I don't take it PERSONALLY... it's not about ME as a person... but I did take it personally as an artist. There's no other explanation for me crying... I took it personally. It was about the stuff I create and the stuff I love. It was the place I WANT to teach the most.... and that's the only reason I can think of that I broke down... I want them to love my stuff as much as I do.... and they didn't.

... and the thought that B&B didn't love it bummed me out in a big way.



But now it's Wednesday ... enough pity party. I just had to write what happened yesterday.

I'm better today.... but thought I'd just say here what I'd been thinking. I'm ready to move on.

tiny blah blah blah

coffee - Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte (CDL)

music - my long mellow list which has gotten longer due to my finding new artists to add to the playlist. My favorite not new, but new to my playlist is Missy Higgins.